Thursday, 17 May 2012

the potty inside

   What a glorious day it was in Vancouver and I'm trying to close out my day beside my beautiful wife, and her beautiful ass, and you know, pregnant women can send any conversation into weird tangents. It goes to nightmares, to ex-foliation, to breast feeding bras, and then to defecation.
    I actually forgot that these little humans inside our women, have the ability to piss and shit. There is evidently a potty inside all of our women. What a revelation this is as I will never look at pregnant women in the same fashion as I once did.
   "Where does it go then hon?" I asked my wife as my head explodes into Homerian Simpson like possibilities.
   "Nowhere, it just sits there and the placenta help to filter out the toxins." I woke her up for that answer. I needed to know.
   "You mean to say women got months of urine and sometimes poop inside them for several months?"
   "Yup," she said this as casually as terayaki sauce goes on rice.
  Wow. I would have never guess a Johnny on the Spot built for the unborn, but here it is, evidence to how amazing women's bodies are, apart from there hinged hips.
   I wonder if twins have their own little potty spot. Or do they argue by kicking and punching each other when one makes more of a mess of the place than the other.
   It's been said time and time again that we all have to learn something new every day, and you know, though the conversation started being all about shit, this last piece of education is better than any shit that happened to me out there today. I love you hon.
   I'm definitely glad it will be the doctor standing in front of her when the baby finally decides to shit and piss out here.


ps: she just woke up for my reading of this latest insertion, and she just said, that "it's normal for women to shit and piss while giving childbirth. It shows women that they are pushing in the right direction."
Now I'm really glad it's the doctor that's standing in front, since I've already taken my fair share of farts.

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