I do not know a damn thing about it. I've been parented, but have never been the parent. So......what, do I do now? The last part was said real slow like.
I know one thing, I'm really good at giving massages these days, and I know what colostrum means, and the other day, my beautiful wife and her beautiful ass, were looking at comical diagrams of what to expect in terms of the "world of poop." In a month or so, if time willing, I will also start learning sign language, just so I know the proper meaning of what my fingers are projecting. Other than just knowing the words "peace" or "fuckoff", I'd be able to say whole phrases like "stop pissing on me little shit" or "does anyone know who won the basketball game?" Either way, it seems my fingers now only know basic English such as "come" or "that way" or "this way?". I guess I know enough to get by.
I can't wait to smell "poop" in the morning.
I can't wait to trip over toys in the hall way.
I can't wait to have somebody picking my nose while I sleep.
I can't wait to start my sleep disorder.
I can't wait to tell someone that this blonde kid is actually my child.
I can't wait for one of my fingers to be almost bitten off.
I also can't wait going through the whole drawer until I find "the shirt I like."
Above all, I can't wait to turn meanings of words into something else as it would bother my wife endlessly as she corrects the child.
Yup, these are definitely interesting times, because even though Tulkas won't be out for another couple of months, he already has more pairs of shoes than I do.
As you can see, I have much to learn and experience on this front and so if anyone with any advice or comment about what I'm to expect in the coming months, then please feel free to share them with me and my wife.